On 24 March my two-years-and-a-week-shy-of-7 months relationship ended.
While this is one of the most private things to have happened, I feel that I should say something about it here since this is supposed to be about things that happen to me when they do, for better or worse right?
So.
A week ago I might've wrote something different. I might've tried to tell you what happened or at least what I thought happened. I might've tried to explain what it's like to not know what to think or feel about something that you thought you knew most about. I wanted to tell you about how somehow through this break-up I found myself again in the hearts of friends and family, who whether they knew it or not, nothing short of reached in and literally saved me. I am fine, because they tell me I will be.
But today I am going to tell you that it is a wound. A big festering thing for the past three weeks that, in a way exploded last Saturday night amidst too much Heineken and bloody Westlife. :).
Just like a gash on your head you dread each time you remember it's there, knowing that it will hurt to the touch. When you do accidentally brush against it - you wince and can't really believe it - then you remember in a rush of blurry pain how it got there in the first place.
I literally walk around like an injured person, my feet drag and my mind is semi-focused on just getting through the day. I pace myself because I have only myself to get through this with- this hurt which is ironically caused by the one person who was simply, my sanctuary in other times of pain.
But just like other wounds, i'm thinking the sides will start to dry out, the scab will grow and one day the centre - the red, bloody pulsating middle which just when you think will never heal, will.
Someday...I will be Saturday night. I just hope that when I do it will not take as much as I think it will to make me really smile again.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Where to Stay in Bintulu
If you ever come to Bintulu, Sarawak and need someplace to stay, choose Everly Parkcity.
It’s my favourite kind of business hotel - a little place which works hard and makes good choices. The lifts are efficient, porters are quick and use of space is smart.
The décor (newly refurbished) is not ostentatious and features are actually functional e.g. the pretty hanging things which you see from the lobby are lights for the sunken café. Unlike Marriot IOI Putrajaya, where the huge pillars and well, just…pillars…and have pineapple (?) motives on top of them for reasons only the designer him/herself knows.
The rooms are spick-and-span, water pressure is strong and the beds are GREAT; smooth crisp linen and pillows that are just-the-right height.
The food I would consider to be good, although there were some hits and misses at dinner, but that could be due to us ordering something out of the menu..haha. But the pizza, is really worth a mention. It stands on its own in competition with Itallianies or Pizza Uno, not just something you eat because you have to eat in the hotel, you know?
Above and beyond all, the people of Everly are its greatest charm. It’s not about the rehearsed welcome smile and niceties, plenty of that in KL where I come from, but it’s about just being in tune with what people really need when they need them and well, simply providing it. Maybe it’s because they’re genuinely good people at heart, or there's some x-factor in their training - probably abit of both, but Management, you should be proud that you’re doing something right and that your people really live your “Best 4-star Hotel in Malaysia for Service Award” status.
So if you do fly MAS, and do see the ad in the in-flight mag which says “Everly Awaits You..” believe it, and come. Let these people warm your weary, business-traveller heart and show you what a good hotel is really about.
It’s my favourite kind of business hotel - a little place which works hard and makes good choices. The lifts are efficient, porters are quick and use of space is smart.
The décor (newly refurbished) is not ostentatious and features are actually functional e.g. the pretty hanging things which you see from the lobby are lights for the sunken café. Unlike Marriot IOI Putrajaya, where the huge pillars and well, just…pillars…and have pineapple (?) motives on top of them for reasons only the designer him/herself knows.
The rooms are spick-and-span, water pressure is strong and the beds are GREAT; smooth crisp linen and pillows that are just-the-right height.
The food I would consider to be good, although there were some hits and misses at dinner, but that could be due to us ordering something out of the menu..haha. But the pizza, is really worth a mention. It stands on its own in competition with Itallianies or Pizza Uno, not just something you eat because you have to eat in the hotel, you know?
Above and beyond all, the people of Everly are its greatest charm. It’s not about the rehearsed welcome smile and niceties, plenty of that in KL where I come from, but it’s about just being in tune with what people really need when they need them and well, simply providing it. Maybe it’s because they’re genuinely good people at heart, or there's some x-factor in their training - probably abit of both, but Management, you should be proud that you’re doing something right and that your people really live your “Best 4-star Hotel in Malaysia for Service Award” status.
So if you do fly MAS, and do see the ad in the in-flight mag which says “Everly Awaits You..” believe it, and come. Let these people warm your weary, business-traveller heart and show you what a good hotel is really about.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Have you loved before?
"And with a great voice he said,
When love beckons you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked
He sifts you to free you from your husks
He grinds you to whiteness
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God".
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night
To know the pain of too much tenderness
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving
To rest at noon and meditate love's ecstasy
To return home at eventide with gratitude
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips."
The Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran
It's long, it is easy to forget - I forget it too sometimes but I think every word is true.
Have you loved before?
When love beckons you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked
He sifts you to free you from your husks
He grinds you to whiteness
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God".
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night
To know the pain of too much tenderness
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving
To rest at noon and meditate love's ecstasy
To return home at eventide with gratitude
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips."
The Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran
It's long, it is easy to forget - I forget it too sometimes but I think every word is true.
Have you loved before?
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