Flight of Fancy

I took a plane to Penang last over the weekend.

While at the waiting bay, I watched two goofy sisters fall over one another, a rambunctious family offer sweets to a very keen little boy and his not-so-keen mother and a lady who did not look like she'd wear colour wearing colours in Bang-on-the-Door shades.

On the plane, I sat next to a pair of twins - grown men wearing yellow shirts, one in checks and the other in plain. They had round faces and both carried little bags for their size - a little backpack and a little carry-all. They spoke in that way that only twins can and understand and went to sleep in the middle of the flight - I felt like custodian of twiddleDum and Dee.

A little girl on the next aisle thought she landed the plane - as we were descending she pressed out her palms, kung-fu style. Afterwhich she told her mother very decisively that this caused the plane to stop. She had bright bossy eyes - her elder sister was so much more timid, and you realise how every little girl is different from the next.

Sometimes, it's nice to be on your own - your eyes see so much more when you're a fly on the wall.

My fascination with Pomegranates

Which as it turns out is a fairly enchanting fruit:

1. Symbol for righteousness in Jewish tradition because it is said to have 613 seeds which corresponds with the 613 commandments of the Torah (Hebrew teachings).

2. In Greek mythology, Hades tricks Persephone into living in the Underworld for six months of each year by getting her to eat six pomegranate seeds while she was his prisoner - these six months become autumn and winter where the land is no longer fertile, as Persephone's mother Demeter the Goddess of Harvest grieves her absence.

3. In Buddhist legend (pretty awful story, this one) the demoness Hariti, who devoured children, was cured of her evil habit by the Buddha, who gave her a pomegranate to eat.

4. The Prophet Mohammad advised, “Eat the pomegranate, for it purges the system of envy and hatred.”

5. In early Christian doctrine, some believe that Eve was tempted with a pomegranate in the Garden of Eden rather than an apple as the actual fruit is not identified in the Old Testament Book of Genesis.

That, plus being very a pretty fruit, as well as having properties which cure weary hearts (pomegranate juice makes grenadine syrup which can be used in a whopping 583 types of cocktails!) and ill tummies (medicinally, seriously) grants it a spot in my book of not-quite-sure-why-this-is-important fixations.

Seasons Greetings

How do yis like the new look? Big thank you to Denzil for helping out with the background :)

And yes, HAPPY HAPPY DEEPARAYA to all Hindu and Muslim folks out there! Have a safe and blessed holiday.

Actually I do have an analogy Re:My Work Situation

The Sausage Situation

You know how sausages are made - gunk they call meat is stuffed into tube-like casings then tied at the ends? As you may imagine, there are specifications for such things e.g. a 2-inch casing fits 10 grams of meat. Well, the boss says one day "Multiply the meat by 10 and stuff it into a 1-inch casing". Us the minion-machine operators grumble and complain, but the boss says, "The client wants the orders tomorrow - that's final". The machine makes awful grinding noises, it shudders and sputters then the shit/meat explodes and hits the fan. It all goes splattering and everyone runs for cover.


Post retail therapy - I have another insight. Slightly more hopeful, I'd like to think.


The Inferno Situation

Instead of a wiener-churning machine, there is a burning building before me. As Junior Firefighter, the Superintendent says to me "Get in there, pull out the survivors, find the source and put it out". "But the fire has gotten so huge! (I protest) Getting in will be suicide!". And the Superintendent says "The client wants the building intact and everyone in it saved - it can't be helped that they only called us after it is almost razed to the ground".

But unlike the sausage situation, I choose another option. I pick up my extinguisher (tiny as it may be to fit my petite frame), put out the flames from the outside, and assess the damage after. It won't be pretty and there may be casualties but at least we won't all get slapped in the face with leftovers scraped from the carcass of animals. (If you are doubting it - don't, I really did review a sausage plant).

Move along move along when the hope is gone

I have a car suction-cup thingee which says "When the going gets tough, the tough goes shopping".

How do I begin to explain what the going is like for me right now? aftotz does a pretty good job of hers, but I just don't really want to start because if I do, like a boss of mine says it really makes "my blood go upstairs". And things will start getting blown out of proportion, or are they already?

Suffice to say I now know what statements like "sanity hanging by a thread" means and it's really scary but I think I commisserate with Sylvia Plath's whole belljar concept more than I would like to.

So. I once said something about making choices and biting bullets, not excuses.

The thing is, to me there was always a difference between doing what it takes, and doing what you can do. And I always thought, if everyone tried a little harder to do what it takes, then we'd be so much closer to what it should be, less people would have to just do what they can do, the world would be a better place etc.

But now, when it comes to choosing between my sanity and what it takes, I choose my sanity - there's no bouncing back if you're broken. Maybe that's what the truth is about - people do what they can because doing what it takes is not feasible for survival.

So. My laptop taskbar is hung - I am going shopping in about an hour. Hopefully when I am back it'll be the little man, instead of the Wizard of Oz waiting.

Perspective my dear, is everything.

What my world needs now

Is..

1. for the haze to go away
2. for internet banking from the bloody bank to be available 24-hours
3. a weekend without work
4. a really good iced chocolate

but what i do have - new shoes, a sister with permanently free hi-speed wifi, and someone who wades through workends with me. Enough reason for a smile.

Work sucks, I know

I should be working, but I am really grumpy. And not able to see how faith, humility, courage, DEFINITELY not grace nor humour comes into the equation. And if fafalynx can bitch about work all the time on his blog, so can I.

It is Sunday. I am sleep-deprived. I have a job next week - the conditions are not perfect. I know what needs to be done - I am just too bloody blech about the situation to run with it.

It's like there's a call for the brighter, shinier version of me - seems like there always is these days! which is getting harder and harder for me to pick up. Maybe one day I just won't, and see what happens. George Orwell says: You have talked so often on going to the dogs - and well, here are the dogs, and you have reached them, and you can stand it. It takes off alot of anxiety.

I have always been afraid of the dogs.

The Evening News

The Taiwanese are angry.
The Muslim are upset.

Living with others has got to be one of the hardest, longest lessons to be learnt in life. When does providing for oneself cross the line to greed? And what happens if upholding your most sacred beliefs means attacking that of another person’s?

I guess the question is, is it really necessary? Truthfully, to you and not for the perception of anybody else, is it really necessary?

Do the family and friends really need to be rolling in money to be considered comfortable? Was the comment on Prophet Muhamad really necessary to put across that wars in the name of God cannot really be in the name of God?

Humans are hopelessly flawed, no matter who we are. For that reason alone, let’s never kid ourselves that any of us are above the other. Tread slowly and listen hard to voices other than your own. Everyone owes each other that much.

Lumut to me is one of those places in Malaysia which is rather well-known, yet strangely does not have a proper highway exit. You get here either by getting off the North-South Highway at Bidor, Changkat something, or Gopeng/Batu Gajah and it’s a good 1-2 hours of trunk road journey from there.

Anyway, how to get to Lumut isn’t the point of this entry. What you do once you get here is. Apart from Pulau Pangkor which I bet people here don’t go to everyday, there is well, not much.

Today a colleague and I went to Teluk Batik, a beach about 15-20 minutes from Lumut. In not so many words, it’s like Port Dickson - not as dirty, but just about as enchanting. I think the best thing about our visit was this bunch of guys who were burying two of their friends in the sand, and making a real effort of it. At the end, one guy had sand boobs with pebble nipples and another had a coconut frond in a beer bottle vase stuck by his side. Very entertaining, but rather disturbing as well to watch grown men do this with the fervour of 12-year olds. And the artistry of Martha Stewart.

So what am I doing? Actually with the lack of the very-global Astro, I am watching local channels and learning quite a bit. Like:
1. there's a whole flush of local reality programs apart from Malaysian Idol
2. there are Malaysian teenagers who actually don’t know how many years we’ve been independent
3. there's this program that talks about restoring our old cinemas which I thought nobody cared about
4. the "I'm Not Stupid" series is surprisingly funny and real for something Singaporean, and
5. that there IS an updated version of the Adabi spice mix advertisement

I have another week to go - let's see what else comes my way.

Attagirl

My favourite women in movies are Kate Hudson playing Penny Lane in Almost Famous and Zhou Xun playing Sun Na in Perhaps Love.

Why are these characters so great? Because although their lives were not perfect, they were fabulous, as my friend Jo would say. They made choices, not excuses and bit all of their own bullets. Right between the teeth, and with a smile too because as a chick lit I once read rightly pointed out - there is nothing more unattractive in this world than bitterness.


After which of course, since it’s a movie (but I do believe in life imitating art and vice-versa), they prevail. Stronger, a bit battered but so much wiser and on their way to the next discovery.

I think that’s a really good way to live.


thanks to http://penny-lane5.livejournal.com/ for the almost famous icon - nice work!

Rollercoaster

There are times in life when you fear. I don’t that think anyone has spoken about dealing with it quite as eloquently as Morrie Schwartz, so I will step aside and let him tell you himself:

By throwing yourself into these emotions, allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what fear is. Recognize its’ texture, moisture, the shiver down the back, the quick flash of heat that crosses your brain - then you are able to say, “Okay. This is fear. Step away from it. Step away.”

- adapted from Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom -

For me, fear is when the mind closes in (this usually happens when I find myself in a dentist’s chair or eye-to-eye with a doctor’s syringe). Fingertips turn cold and there are walls everywhere I turn. I want to grasp blindly.

How on earth does one step away? I think as with all other quagmires, you hang on to someone or something and heave. I think that the someone(s) are those who love you enough to somehow will things to work out, and the something is your faith and perspective.

Hold on. It will pass - like rollercoaster rides, waiting IS the worst part. Let's do a day at a time and before you know it, we'll be on the sunny-side-up again. You are one of the most fearless persons I know.

Listen

There's just something really great about American country music. The ones I like at least, and I won't pretend that I'm a seasoned listener or whatever.

Maybe it's the bang-on-the-nail lyrics, honest-to-goodness tunes, how it escapes being corny while rhyming or maybe simply because it doesn't try too hard.

Neil Young: When God Made Me. Spot on. All the right questions.

Dixie Chicks: Landslide. Brings back memories, but good ones now from where i'm looking.

Keith Urban: You'll Think of Me. Now that's a real man's breakup song. Nick Lachey, please take whatever's left of you and get some lessons.


Apologies for being technologically-challenged; would've put in some clever links for you peops to sample the music if I knew how to.

It Ain't A Party

I work in an accounting firm, a Big 4 if you like. In such a firm, everyone in and out of the business knows that faces change faster than a Chinese Bianlian show.

Having said that, I will give you a first-hand account of what it’s like.

Corny but true and I make no apologies, it’s rather like the America’s Next Top Model lineup on TV - where each week one character fades from the picture until at the end, there is that last one standing. Only in this case, you don’t really know what you’ve won.

The next starry-eyed batch comes along (just like TV the show must go on, you see) and camaraderie has to be rebuilt, jokes retold, and friendships reforged. It gets old, and shockingly after not-quite 4 years of this jazz, I am tired.

Yes, work is just work, but somehow the workplace is not all about work is it? Unless you are from the cold-hearted, single-minded, climb-ladder-at-all-costs kind of school, the people who run the mill with you everyday do matter.

In short; allizdavidsengfunpohsuandilloncharleswaichoongcheliangjusttomentionafew, you are greatly missed. Group trips are not the same without you.

Sick Speechless

Leaky nose. Cracked lips. Ping-pong ball lump at the back of my throat. Swallowing is a teary affair. Panadol after meals. Sleep after Panadols.

My brain works but in instalments. I need my bed and pajamas.

So here I am, propped up by pillows and achy knees.

Thank God for e-mail and sms, I can enjoy my own silence.


Big CROAKY birthday shoutout though, to the Musicman - Happy 25th!! Take the weekend off, buddy.

Miss Universe 2006

This is what the world has come to.

I watched my Astro Starworld with growing horror as the title was officially won by a walking toothpick with a marble for a head. I mean, could she BE any skinnier? What happened to healthy looking girls with proportionately-sized boobs? What happened to Miss Japan - spunky, warm, sexy and by far with the most intelligent answers?

Okay. In all honesty, she wasn’t the only set of unnaturally gaunt cheekbones and protruding shoulder blades to grace the stage that night. But to grant this culture of emaciation the oldest crown and sash of universal beauty?!

I’m just thinking if this is the way things go, there may not be a Miss Universe next year. Not because of any anti-anorexia outrage, but simply because Little Miss Puerto Rico (and I emphasise little) could’ve disappeared sideways and not be around to give the crown away.

Food for thought, no pun intended - apparently she passed out during a post pageant conference. Too hot and dress too tight, as the reps say? Maybe. Pure hunger from bird-like diets in the months leading up to the competition? More likely.

p/s: Kudos to Project Runway - Miss USA Tara Conner's dress was great.

John Mayer sings...

I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life
Am I living it right?

At 25 - a commonly accepted age for the onset of quarter life crisis, I do wonder.

Living it right? My say:

It’s about choosing whoever you are. No waking up and not recognizing the person in the mirror, less whining about all the people who “make my life this way”. People try, but you make your life - no one can or wants to take that responsibility away.

It’s about debunking myths, while existing within them. Society in my view (especially the middle class Malaysian one) seems to think that there are only two types of young people - The Ones Who Toe the Line, and The Ones Who well, Don't. The former usually perceived to be more successful albeit rather boring, and the latter less likely to have the 'good job' although possibly more exciting hobbies. We have to have the courage to believe that these “quadrants” don’t exist. In-betweens do, and it is always the person that makes the job or lifestyle, never vice-versa.

It’s about acting. Action segregates the inspirers from the never-quite-theres. Translate your ideals into something tangible - small as it may be, or sit and gather dust with it on the shelf. It is a lonely place with echoes of past audiences, memories of those who believed in you, and a great view of the world passing by.

It’s about growing, reaching for new experiences instead of rehashing old triumphs. Friendships too - let’s go for a beer and talk about something you really want to say. Let’s be able to say “You’ve changed somewhat from what I remember, but so have I. I’ll get to know you now”.

So. After all this talk you ask "What about you, Little-Miss-Philosophy?"

Is my life still verdictless? Yes.

Do I remember though, all the things which I want to be? Everyday.

Will I get there? Baby steps now in unchartered waters, but yes. Yes.

Fly, Flying, Flown

Touch down.

Rub the sleep out of your eyes.

Get your bags. Look back and wave.

Let the games begin.

Pick up your feet, but don’t trip.

Work it, girls. Let’s just work it.


p/s: Happy birthday, David :)

Malaysian Nights

Mosquitoes must be one of the worst things about living in the tropics.

The word that comes to mind: RELENTLESS.

The same damn mosquito mind you, just one can keep you up all night.

11.30pm: Spot it flying around. Switch on Vape* - go to bed in the comfort of its poisonous protection.

1.00am: Vape has worn off. Mosquito has bitten 3 spots on right leg and 2 on left arm. Too damn sleepy to get up and replace the Vape mat. Scratch like mad and cocoon self in blanket - hah! There’s no where to bite now.

3.00am: Mosquito bites ankle and baby toe. Also dive-bombs a sting on earlobe. That's it. Get up, switch on the bedside light. Offer bare arms up as 'bait' and wait for it to strike. Come on! It's war now.

3.30am: It does not come. They must be smarter than we give them credit for. Damn it! Sleep beckons. I have less endurance than an insect. Must never enlist for war.

5.00am: It strikes AGAIN. Surprised it managed to find fresh skin surface at all. Almost pleading now..only 3 more hours till 8! Give me a break! Turn around to scratch, then..I see it. It’s gotten slow, gorged and fat. Oblivious of its impending doom.

SLAP. I am a little disappointed to see so little blood spilt. Surely there’s more to show for a whole night of listless dreams and itching, itching, itching.

I am resigned. Sleep now. The enemy is gone.

* Vape: By Fumakilla. Slip in a Vape Mat, switch electricity on, heat releases d-allethrin (40mg/mat apparently) which keeps mozzies away. Probably not the best for human inhalation as well, but I’ll take my chances.

Right footedness

Just now, on the way home from work I discovered this shocking fact; that my left foot can't drive!

What happened was this - I was at the traffic lights and felt this great need to take off my right shoe. So , very gingerly I replaced my right foot with my left on the brake pedal. Then while enjoying the air-conditioned breeze through my newly-liberated toes, i had this brilliant thought "Let's try driving with my left foot.." Afterall, when your brain learns to drive the whole body knows how to drive, right? Wrong.

The lights were still red so I thought i'd just nudge my car forward for starters. I lifted my foot off the brake pedal..tyres rolled, jolly good.. and I stepped...so hard that I actually jolted in my seat. Exactly like how I used to when taking lessons from the horrific instructor who used a badminton racket to jab at your brakes at Sekolah Memandu Yew.

I was flabbergasted. I mean, right-handedness is something you're born with but this? It gives a whole new depth to the concept of two left feet!

After extensive discussion with my boyfriend the A-Levels Biology student, it has come down to this - no reason for alarm, it's just a triumph of muscle memory over brain? memory. My left leg muscles apparently do not "remember" how to step on a brake pedal simply because it hasn't done so before.

And why didn't my brain tell it how to? Well I guess it takes two to tango. Brain and muscle I mean, not two brains. Afterall, you are talking to the girl who can't and I mean just CAN'T catch batu serembans no matter how much she wills her mind to. Oh well.

Quote of the Day

"Love simply, Live fully"

Some time back I was listening to MY FM and heard the DJ/guest artiste (can't remember now) saying in Mandarin of course, what largely translates into the above.

To me it's a brilliant adage, especially for young modern women like me, who tend to over-worry and over-think our lovelife and all its' intricacies and complexities, sometimes simply for lack of a more important thing to worry and think about.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think that we should hang it all - a man-woman relationship like any other is work, and even more so because it's easy to want to make excuses and take things for granted in the name of being "loved". And that happens both ways by the way, boys.

But to love simply is about not indulging neither him nor yourself, about knowing that since there are 2 people involved logically you can only get your way roughly 50% of the time, about picking your battles and not picking on your partner when you are having a bad day, about not turning little mistakes into character flaws, and about forgiving - just forgiving without putting in "but you-know-you-owe-me" tokens because it's just too bloody hard and pointless to keep tabs of those.

And to live fully, well now that...the possibilities are endless! And it's about being excited about YOURSELF. Once you free up all that time from over-worrying about your relationship there is so much more to discover and rediscover. And to make yourself whole so that yes, you may stand bettered by your partner but you will stand just great alone.

So, that's my take on this quote of the day.

P/S: I once explained this entire concept to a male friend before, after which he looked at me blankly and said "That's great Pei Wei, but the first thing that came to my mind was that it's about sleeping around and getting away with it. You know, love 'simply' as in like casually..and hence live 'fully' as in like getting to get laid often..hahahahaha"

Sigh..the male mind is something that we will discuss another day, shall we?

World Peas

A typical Saturday afternoon conversation between NS and myself...

Setting: My couch, 6.30 p.m, too lazy to get up and go for dinner appointment at 7.00 p.m

PW: So, shall we begin this intellectual discourse?
NS: Yes, shall we talk about...world peace?
PW: World Peace?
NS: Yes, World Peas.
PW: Okay, I like peas in a mash on a pie like the ones in Sydney.
NS: A pea pie?
PW: No..ON the pie, like gravy.
NS: Peas on the pie.
PW: Yes. You are not contributing any new information here.
NS: Okay. I like peas in a pod.
PW: Ooh...like snow peas. I like snow peas.
NS: Okay...if you can get them here..?
PW: Of course you can. In Chinese restaurants. I like them tossed with scallops, bwocolli and garlic (mouth-watering face)
NS: Bwocolli?
PW: Yes, brocolli. We'd better get going.
NS: Okay, ladies first.
PW: (extending one languorous foot forward) Okay, I've taken the first step. Your turn.
NS: (extends one foot forward as well) Okay, I've taken the second step.
PW: (sighs) Great, baby. This is the typical type of thing that makes us look weird to other people.
NS: Okay, okay. Let's go.


Disclaimer: Because of the somewhat inane nature of the situation, some portions of the conversation may have been omitted/slipped the writer's mind. Writer's partner-in-crime is advised to highlight any key discrepancies.

Panas...

I suppose at some point during this charming blog-versation that we’re having, we’ll have to talk about the weather. It may as well be today.

If you live in PJ/KL vicinity, you would’ve noticed that there is some sort of drought/heatwave going on. Except for the two strange 5-minute downpours last week, which I suspect to be some cloud-seeding exercise going awry, it probably hasn’t rained in the past 10-15 days! (If I remember correctly that is, cos it feels like a hundred to me anyway).

Weather in Malaysia is extreme. When it rains, it pours. And when it’s hot, well..it’s really hot. The sun blinds and scorches. You feel headache-y and in need of a cold shower to literally wash the heat out of your hair and under your skin. Stay indoors? The circulating air from the fan doesn’t reach you, but gets trapped somewhere within the layers of hot air between the fan and where you’re sitting. You feel baked and somewhat muffled like you’re stuck inside a thick roll of cotton.

But I like rainy days in Malaysia. It really rains – an ominous, thunderous warning followed by a drenching affair with real pelting raindrops and heat steaming up from the roads after. Everything is washed, cooled and renewed. I used to get depressed with the rain in Sydney; grey skies, half-hearted thunder like polite burps and flyaway raindrops which lasts for hours. Once on the way home in such weather, I looked up and said to the sky “Can’t you even rain properly? Such a p#ssy way to do it!”

Anyhow, our much bitched about Malaysian weather has its highlights, I think. Hot days are for Ribena and longans in syrup, rainy days are for Soupy Snax with salted crackers. Sup kambing is a great option too.

It ain’t four seasons and a white Christmas...but it’s ours. Think I'll go make me a ribena now :)

Of Landmines and Lifesavers

When a person encounters heartbreak, the mind steps in and says “You will not go through this again. I will not allow it”. I guess this is known scientifically as the defence mechanism, or Oprah-ifically as “being your own best friend”.

The mantra is an overall strategy. I believe that being the amazing thing which God created our mind to be, without us knowing it goes on to break down this general defence strategy into little triggers, which it then embeds all over our sub-conscious system.

An example of how triggers work: If previously you’d been with a person who was losing interest in you and you did not see the meltdown coming, in this relationship you’d jump at the mere hint of you sliding down his priority ladder. If you’d been lied to before, you don’t give the new guy room for trust, let alone trust itself easily. Chemicals excrete in some gland somewhere and your inner voice screams “It’s happening again! Red alert!!”

Triggers can be lifesavers or landmines.

If your new relationship is really not like the last and you’re just battling past demons, it is a landmine which shoots you in the foot and you’ve missed what could be The Next Best Thing. But, if you are prone to repeatedly picking the same a.k.a wrong type of partners, it can be a lifesaver which bobs up like a buoy just when you need rescuing.

So do you trust it? Paradoxically, while being amazing creatures, we only use 3% (or was it 0.3%?) of our brains for the most of our life, so half the time we don’t really know. The new guy could be Mr Right as much as Mr Same As The Last or even Mr Worse. So should you Give Love A Chance? Or call his bluff?

I think, take the plunge but take it slow. You don’t get wiser being single.

I think Celine Dion’s lines “When I fall in love, it will be forever, or I’ll never fall in love” are more than a soppy bathroom chorus.

I think, take responsibility and apologise for your demons but remember that you ARE your own best friend.

I think, if it is The Next Best Thing, patience and love will prevail.

I think, hope. Sometimes it's all we've got.

Ice cream Fondue

Okay. This I must say, is something that may be most suitable for an all-girls day out. You know one of those where there's like 3-4 of you and a post-shopping afternoon with nothing to do but yak?

Not that ice-cream ain't macho don't get me wrong, but for 2 simple reasons 1. the ice-cream balls (see pic) are actually quite.. demure (okay, they are about the size of a smallish fishball each) and 2. the forks which you spear them with are long, ladylike and just MEANT to be held between your thumb and first finger, with the quintessential pinkie sticking out ala 'tai-tai'. Not exactly what I would imagine a guy's idea of RM54.90 for a meal+outing well spent, if you know what I mean.

Having said that, it was a rather jolly six of us (which included three guys) at Haagen-Dasz One Utama last weekend "steamboating" ice-cream, fruits, choc chip cookies, choc rolls etc. in a divine pot of warm chocolate sauce and crunchy peanut toppings. Yu-mmy..and the serving dish (not featured in pic) looks great too, I have to say. (Note to self: Have to stop ordering things just because the serving dish looks nice)

So anyways, give it a go people and tell me what you think. Sure beats going to Starbucks AGAIN, I think.

p/s: Alliz, if you are reading bon voyage and travel safe. You will do great :)

Sniff

Some of my memories are made up of smells.

909 soap: Sahabat 16 Estate house (Sabah), 1989

I am 8 years old. Dark and cool rooms in a one-storey bungalow (my favourite type of house yet), dusty road with Koperasi (sundry shop) at one end and school at the other, jetty and the beach with jellyfishes, my mother: young, very pretty and very fierce.

New paint: Kluang house, 1992

Coming to think of it, there's plenty of new paint in my lifetime this far but somehow this one sticks. One and a half storey house with the kitchen downstairs, isn't that odd? Fresh red-bean buns from the bakery at the back, four-angled beans on the chain-linked fence, Canossian Convent, Sister Mary and breaking my front tooth.

Asam laksa: Taman Bukit Maluri, 1995

I am 14 years old. Sordid school stories, school gang fights (in the canteen involving chilli sauce and chocolate biscuit rolls..lol), 50 roses, taekwondo, RenHorng & Pak Lim - okay fine, you guys ARE the best of the best, despite it all.

Cold air + good Donburi: HydePark Towers Sydney, 2002

Melissa - my housemate who made a home for me, EasyWay bubble tea (KLCC also got), Pitt Street Mall, Sonia, Joseph - love your apartment, still hate avocados, Paddy's Market, Bondi..Debbie (inseparable memories), Michelle, Oatley and train rides.

Must not forget; mardi gras umbrella, literally being blown off your feet, che2 at year-end, Ralf & crazy airbed, cute greek waiters and great spanish food. A lifetime of memories in ONE year - time's fun when one's having flies like ns would say (god, these days i don't even cringe at such statements anymore..that IS a bad sign)

Basil: Cambodia, 2004 & 2005

Tuk-tuk rides to everywhere, people who are somehow simple, hard, jaded and innocent all at the same time, sunburn at AngkorWat, markets and papaya bags, Pimms No.1, and singing English oldies with friends Sony and Vanlin at the back of pick-up trucks. Oh yes, and work..of course.

Fish pond,cement still new: Nge Seng's garden, 2006

I am 25 years old. Ballon mollys and swordtails. Bright weekends and long breakfasts. After-dinner walks around the neighbourhood. Phonecalls and U2. Also Oasis, which I'm listening to right now. Stand by me, Nobody knows..yea-eh-eh, the way it's gonna be. Getting to know you may be one of my biggest adventures yet, aren't you lucky? *wink*

Love Thy Neighbour

This is an ironic entry after the "Human Onion", but one must vent.

I live in a typical double-storey terrace house, without two cats in the yard..but unfortunately with limited parking spaces for a family with three cars.

Now I don't know about you, but from where I come from (which is just about 4 states and 7 houses all over Malaysia..) there is an unwritten but widely understood code which transcends race and religion when it comes to parking vehicles outside one's house:

Rule #1: The space in front of your house, i.e. your frontage is yours to park at even if it is technically "Kerajaan" land (same principle with people planting rambutan trees and the like outside their gates, no?)

Rule #2: If that space is left EMPTY (ha..now it gets tricky), neighbours/guests/strangers are welcome to park their vehicles there...or are they?

Being Malaysians and the muhibbah people that most of us are..I would say you can park there for as long as the person LIVING THERE clearly does not need that space for their vehicles. YES there is a first-come-first-served practice to a certain extent, but if we all kept that up persistently, where would we be? We would have people walking 10 roads away to the least inhabited/most haunted street to pick up their vehicles, and why?

Because their own street is cluttered with cars belonging to the guy with one Mercedes in the porch, another one on his frontage and his brother's Wira on his neighbour's. For the past six months...and counting.

In short, it is a matter of common sense. If you have one house, don't go and buy 5 cars la bruder! (Goodness knows you have money to buy another house!) And if you somehow end up with 5 cars...don't have to park them all outside your house right dude! Try the taman, the tasik..or the closest junkyard.

And this to my neighbour.. having a race with you daily to park on my OWN frontage is not my idea of constructive competition. Which was what we argued with him about a year ago. Which he responded to last Sunday by pulling up right behind our car when my parents were parked temporarily outside our gate, causing us to not be able to budge. Let me be petty for a minute and show you what I mean:

A rather ugly argument ensued I will admit, to which his grand contention was..."You can reverse your black (Kembara) car. I am parking on my frontage". Breathe..and count to 10. The narrow-minded and sempit-hearted ones can be so unreasonable that even poor Logic, forget Human Decency can't seep through their saturated pores.

He is migrating to Australia at the end of this year on grounds of a better education system overseas. "Uneducated people are like that" we heard him tell an onlooking neighbour last Sunday evening. If he represents good education, then good riddance I say and hope fellow Malaysians agree. He truly does not deserve this country.

The Human Onion

Shrek was right. People are like onions, they have layers. Sometimes there are so many that even the person him/herself has yet to fully discover what they look like holistically. Some people I think, never ever really find out.

I always believe that there is a reason behind the way people act, and the things they do. Behaviour often boils down to one’s happiest and darkest experiences, upbringing (yes, I will admit this after 25 years of living), and surroundings - note to Singaporeans: walking from one end of Orchard Road to the other end is NOT horrifically far.

It really is tricky, this behaviour thing - it catches you just when you are not looking, and gives you away. Can’t take the village out of the girl, the village just keeps on “shinin’ rite through”…a chorus to a bad song.

But. With the old "human onion", you get surprised sometimes. Not every layer is the same! Sometimes people learn and they grow, and they get better. Sometimes it’s just a blind spot - big as a dinner plate, but still, a blind spot.

You just really have to take the time to peel the whole thing through to be able to say “oh..it looks like this actually..”. And as with all of God’s creatures, when you put all the layers back together again, it will make sense and it will be..acceptable, if not beautiful after all. So to those who push my wrong buttons at times; the elitists, the name-droppers, the One Who Speaks Too Much In The Loo, the shamelessly-oblivious…maybe we just haven’t spent enough time. In all honesty, I am not sure that I want to spend more time with each and every one of you.

But in the mean time before we decide, I will take a good friend’s advice and let it slide.. (truly, the male mind is a wonderfully forgiving thing in its opaqueness)

Peace to all this weekend.

quote of the day

" Two feet on the ground, one head in the clouds "

-me-

the perfect job

My idea of a perfect job is as a Travel Channel host (preferably Globe Trekker, because I just simply love that program).

Why is this a perfect job?

1. Travel, travel and travel - ze world zis my oyster!
2. It's relatively safe - although travellers are often featured alone in potentially dodgy places..there's always a crew with them, remember? I finally realised that that's how all the food that they feature on such shows (you know the ones where one person gets served like a 10-course meal) gets finished...ahh..
3. It's a good deal - you get PAID to travel AND no more hotel bills :)
4. You get to tell everyone in the world (who is watching, that is) about what's great about the place that you are at from your point of view (this could be a double-edged sword of course, if you can't find anything great about the place you are at).. and
5. Your job is pretty much one amazing recording of your life..how many of us will get to tell our grandkids while watching videos "look kids, that's me in marrakesh"?

5takes (have you seen it? it's not as good as globetrekker i think but alrite as well) is hiring right now..see http://www.travelandlivingasia.com/5takes/season2/join5takes/index.shtml

And why am I not jumping at the opportunity yet?

Because.because.and because.

:) see you on the other side when i find out.

Blind faith and the World Cup

There is no such thing.

From not knowing a thing about the World Cup and its teams to one tutorial on "seeds" and "groups", I have been betting with my boyfriend - sans success..twice!

So much for rooting for the underdogs.

Match #1: Iran vs Portugal
Iran - 0
Portugal - 2

i had a 1.5 ball-handicap (god knows if this is the right term...yes yes laugh insanely) on this game, which led me to buying breakfast on saturday. thanks, iran.

Match #2: Switzerland vs Togo
Switzerland - 2
Togo - 0

in a "never say die! but do put some handbrakes in place" fashion, i put another bet on this game..with a whopping 2.0 ball handicap. According to ns, 0.5 of that was already a "girlfriend premium" after much pestering (i.e. the handbrakes) as apparently NO ONE gives so much handicaps on a World Cup match (alrite, alrite, keep your hat on baby..)

Macam itu pun tak menang! Goodness, what does a girl have to do?

Oh well, considering i had to ask around like 5 times (togo vs who again, afti?) before getting the facts right for this entry (yes i forgot who were the teams playing although it was just yesterday)...maybe it's time to put a halt to this under-educated betting.

But it would just be you know, a real triumph to pick an obscure team out of the blue and have them win against all odds. Not so much in a diamond-in-the-rough-team triumph, but rather the unanticpated-wild-guess-wow!i won! type of triumph.

should have gone for america.

keep the aspidistra flying - george orwell

This is what i am currently reading. It is incredibly depressing, but yet written so well that you can't put it down. In fact, it is incredibly depressing BECAUSE it is written so well.

It gets under your skin and in your head and suddenly you are living the thoughts of the protagonist, in this case a fledgling poet battling severe cases of anti-capitalism, male ego and an inferiority complex the size of China (this is all my humble opinion, btw).

Not that I am a male egoist nor anti-capitalism..helo i have a car sticker which advocates retail therapy, but...there are definitely moments where i identify with the writer about going on doing things that depresses you, but you do it anyway out of habit/fear of looking foolish/ simply fear of not having done the alternative before (see Chapter 4 on the bit about him not going into the pubs). Point being, all the fear is in your head - actually that's where most of a person's biggest obstacles are anyway, don't you think?

My sister does not understand why I bother with such books because they are so painfully real they give you heartburn after reading them. But that is exactly why i bother, and love George Orwell's stuff - clarity, which is so important, and finally something i can say "yes, i totally agree" to.

I found a website with an online version of the book (check out www.george-orwell.org/Keep_the_Aspidistra_Flying/0.html if you are interested heheh..)

An excerpt i find memorable; this is Gordon Comstock (the protagonist) describing his lower-middle class family:

"It was not MERELY the lack of money. It was rather that, having no money, they still lived mentally in the money-world--the world in which money is virtue and poverty is crime. It was not poverty but the down-dragging of RESPECTABLE poverty that had done for them. They had accepted the money-code, and by that code they were failures. They had never had the sense to lash out and just LIVE, money or no money, as the lower classes do. How right the lower classes are! Hats off to the factory lad who with fourpence in the world puts his girl in the family way! At least he's got blood and not money in his veins."

liberating thought, isn't it?

what shall we do this weekend?

from discussion with several couple-y friends, there seems to be a consensus that THERE IS NOTHING TO DO IN PJ on weekend dates.

apart from the oneutama-midvalley routine, that is.

of course, one could always be a leetle more cultured/intellectual and visit like the national science centre, museum, watch theatre etc etc...but for the less motivated people (like myself and boyfriend, heheh)..here's a couple of easy-peasy date ideas that can be re-used and re-cycled fairly successfully - yes we have tried them!

note to nice young men devoid of first-date ideas: personally, these would make fairly good first impressions if i may say so myself..have a go and cross your fingers :)

1. Flea market shopping - the one at The Curve which runs during daytime on Saturdays and Sundays is AMAZING. Truly, good selection, good prices and quite a few finds which are not your run-of-the-mill made in china or korea stuff.

2. Sushi and dvd - rent a dvd and pot at home with takeaway sushi. Jaya Jusco at One Utama has a really yummy selection.

3. Nice long breakfasts - somewhere to stretch your legs, read the papers or look into each others' eyes (whichever fits your situation more), eat good food and enjoy the morning. i would suggest pizza uno at centrepoint bandar utama if you don't mind paying for a wholesome brekkie.

4. Jigsaw puzzles - fun way to bond and inexpensive as well! Word of caution about puzzles though...choose the illustration carefully, or you may wind up with an undone piece of artwork left in the living hall till kingdom come, with either you or your other half tearing the other's hair out, depending on whose house the puzzle is left in.

5. Board games - while kind of reminiscent of high school and not exactly uber-cool in certain circles, this can be really fun especially when friends are included. Yippee Club in One Utama (bubble tea place at the old wing near TGV) is quite good for this but unfortunately the games are only placed in the enclosed smoking area (why is this dear Yippee Club Management? tsk tsk..) Alternatively, i guess you could bring your own not-too-rowdy games to not-too-fussy coffee places for an evening of fun...just don't be the kiam-siap type that only order one drink la k?

ha..itu saja untuk hari ini,kawan kawan. please do share any other inspired weekend ideas - i am sure there's more to life than trawling shopping centres.

p/s: Forever 21 just opened recently in one utama ladies, and it's got really fun clothes :)

in the beginning

one of the reasons for this is to make a mark on the "virtual society" as currently i am googled as an asian restaurant chain in the States, which is somewhat impressive yet depressing.

another is to join the little club of mushrooming bloggers (yes, i realise this has been done for a million years already) at the workplace - hello ladies!

another is to try out this "bare your soul on the internet" business which currently feels rather strange since a) there isn't really an audience if your purpose is to be self-absorbed and b) if there is an audience, you may not really know who they are and that's kind of like hanging your diary out to dry.

so. i guess it is a roadtrip of sorts, and therapy of others. my thoughts to share..and the challenge as always, is to keep them just mine.

welcome all.