If I knew how to write clever little poems, I'd write one now, but I don't. NPS has correctly advised that I should just forget about the whole thing and get on fabulously with life, which I am, but I am also one for finding words to express exact feelings at certain points in time, so here's an ode of sorts to the ex:
I don't hate you but I do hate how you've made me:
1. Doubt every guy I see and get to know, thinking at some point he'll be able to hurt me, or any girl he's with.
2. Make what could possibly be one of the greatest trips of my life feel like a trip of recovery, rather than that of discovery and appreciation.
3. Have to have these moments where I tell myself "You'll be fine".
4. Feel terrible despite making the right decision.
5. Battle with the hurt of encountering something that reminds me of the good things about you, or us.
6. Cynical. At this point I don't think I could ever write an entry like "World Peas" or "Sniff" again.
So yes I don't hate you, you make that hard because you're a "nothing but nice" sort of person and full of vague yet cleverly phrased answers like "I don't have an answer for that yet", and "I don't know why you still want to speak to me" which detracts from the ugly chronology of the case.
So yes, lessons learnt and fingers burnt. Now let me go get on with the business of getting over it.
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